It is my first funeral as far as I can remember.. I was told it was my second and I agreed since I had vague memories of the first one I attended at the age of 4..of my Grandpa’s. This time it was Granny!! After 23 years..
Chaos, cries, cremation props, corpse...all were one inside another.. I am not sure if it was the climate of the room that made me more sick or the mishap itself. I too wanted to cry out loud like a few others in the room whom I have rarely seen, not seen at all, seldom met, never ever atleast not till Granny was alive. Looks like they loved the granny more dead than alive else they would have atleast showed up or called to check on her health once in a while, offered to keep her positive company, asked Mum n Dad if they needd financial / moral assistance while they were taking care of my then bed-ridden Old lady. But as I said, they loved Granny more dead than alive because their crying decibels were any day greater than My parents’. Or may be it was one of those hideous trends of society where you just ‘have to’ even if u dont ‘want to’. To show that you care even if You dont care!
Before this thought could end, I had another trail as I saw folks offering clothes(in this case Saree) to the corpse! And I was like “seriously dude!!”. I mean what good will that do. Shouldnt that be offered to some clothe-less n needy instead?! What is the point?! No point..just #HideousTrendOfSociety
The story did not end here. Post cremation, instead of just trying to get over the tragedy or in my case, consoling my parents to get over it, we had to arrange for shower and organize lunch for almost 100 folks that too not at some hotel motel but in our home. I mean, “HOW CAN SOCIETY BE SO INSENSITIVE AND POINTLESS AND MEAN AND STUPID”. I am sure everyone who came there knew the gravity of the situation and state of mind of my parents who have just happened to lost their parent; so why did not they just leave after offering thwir condolences. Why did I have to serve lunch to some random bunch of guys who least cared about my grandmother or her illness while she was alive; instead of lending my shoulder to my mother who served my granny her days n blinkless nights; or just hold my dad’s hand and say to him that I am there to take care of him. I could not do any of it. I just had to follow the NORMs and I did but I was screaming inside. I wanted all of them to leave except for couple whose presence actually mattered and made difference. Why cry when u never cared; infact why be there at all.
That day in that room, I was having more thoughts on the follies of the society and its customs and so called culture; than mourning over the dead. That day in that room, there were more that one corpse - that of sensibilities of society that we are, that of logic which should have long ago made us out-practice fake customs and rituals, that of courage that should have made us question the status-quo.
Inspiration Courtesy : Pointless Customs, traditions and we the folks who follow it!!
#DaduRIP #BauWeLoveYou
Sad but true that some people show up after a person is gone.
ReplyDeleteIndeed! Sad but true..
ReplyDeleteThanks fr stopping by on the blog..
Good to know that you have people around who Share same sensibilities!!
Following the blog from many days , Hinduism is based on logic of science and conventional economics , the Brahmins { not every brahmins / those from the Audichya lineage are ones who do the rituals , after the death of the body as santan dharma have faith in reincarnation and rebirth ,when someone died or has reached the moksha ,there stand the grief and negativity , to fight and handle the relatives of the closed one mantras are recited , the food made in 13 days is always simple without the sound of getting it fried , he food offered to other people also does not have a luxury but simple or there are people who practice to offer same food to the guests who joined them in grief which was liked by the lost one , this practice is done from earlier times as on the last day the relatives of the family offer them money and clothes ( to support them economically ) the food is the gesture of joining in the grief and continue with the social harmony .
ReplyDeleteIt is also believed that offering food is the biggest gesture , and brahmins are made to get satisfied in the minimum therefore has a lineage named Pandya ( those who earn their bread from pind daans )
are our customs useless /illogical/futile/purposeless
yes can be , but have we tried to understood the reason which was written behind the lines
there is no right or wrong it all about what we believe ,
if anyone reading this found my comments offensive I do respect your belief and this is just a request
I welcome queries on dharma /traditions / bad Hindu customs and practices