End to the dead end!!

“I am not sure if I am depressed; but the sumptoms say it so clearly. I feel those bubbles in stomach many a times and I break down, start crying.. and all of this for no reason at all. 

I use to have dreams and purpose in life, small but still they were there. But no more. I am just dragging myself somehow. Living so that my parents and people who love me can live. Infact I try to keep myself happy as well.

But I dont think so any of it is working or will work in future. I dont feel suicidal. I mean not that I CANNOT handle all of this. Rather, I DONT WANT to handle any of it. And I dont see a way out. 

Should I ask for help. I should but even that effort is somethig I dont want to make. What has happened.

I could have reached out to a couple of friends who would have probably helped. But I have closed those doors myself cz I had to and opening them would mean even more mess. 

So I cannot destroy myself ; I dont feel like creating myself and worst of all, I dont want to seek help. Dead End!!!”

-

From a depressed person around you..who DO NOT WANT to seek help from you..but maybe you NEED TO!!

You just need to convince him / her for one simple FACT - THERE IS NEVER A DEAD END!! There is always a way out!! There is always an end to ‘the dead end’!!

#MentalHealth #SaveASoul #TalkItOut #LiveItOutTogether #LetItOut #UnleashEmotions

Perspective!!

When the hands of clock are right and the positions of stars, then I will rise and shine!!! #Fortune

For those who think that one line on my hand drives my life, they know it right..what they dont know is how hard I got that line! #Struggle

Why cant they accept I can be the family girl but still have the wit in me to have fun with the sip of wine!! #Innocence

Its hard for them to admit that those whi have spark of life in their eyes, can only take the pain to crib and whine!! #Hope

Why cant be the birthgivers be God for someone and no love or shrine!! #Faith

You can live a life after life; Can be dead inside but outside, be on cloud nine!! #Drive

Even when a beloved one dies, u have lunch the very same day, the very same night u dine!! #Necessities

If we all are humans and sin...why cant I have share which is mine!! #Human

When the hands of clock are right as per I feel, then I will rise and shine!! #IAmMe

Please Dont Care!!

It is my first funeral as far as I can remember.. I was told it was my second and I agreed since I had vague memories of the first one I attended at the age of 4..of my Grandpa’s. This time it was Granny!! After 23 years..

Chaos, cries, cremation props, corpse...all were one inside another.. I am not sure if it was the climate of the room that made me more sick or the mishap itself. I too wanted to cry out loud like a few others in the room whom I have rarely seen, not seen at all, seldom met, never ever atleast not till Granny was alive. Looks like they loved the granny more dead than alive else they would have atleast showed up or called to check on her health once in a while, offered to keep her positive company, asked Mum n Dad if they needd financial / moral assistance while they were taking care of my then bed-ridden Old lady. But as I said, they loved Granny more dead than alive because their crying decibels were any day greater than My parents’. Or may be it was one of those hideous trends of society where you just ‘have to’ even if u dont ‘want to’. To show that you care even if You dont care! 

Before this thought could end, I had another trail as I saw folks offering clothes(in this case Saree) to the corpse! And I was like “seriously dude!!”. I mean what good will that do. Shouldnt that be offered to some clothe-less n needy instead?! What is the point?! No point..just #HideousTrendOfSociety

The story did not end here. Post cremation, instead of just trying to get over the tragedy or in my case, consoling my parents to get over it, we had to arrange for shower and organize lunch for almost 100 folks that too not at some hotel motel but in our home. I mean, “HOW CAN SOCIETY BE SO INSENSITIVE AND POINTLESS AND MEAN AND STUPID”. I am sure everyone who came there knew the gravity of the situation and state of mind of my parents who have just happened to lost their parent; so why did not they just leave after offering thwir condolences. Why did I have to serve lunch to some random bunch of guys who least cared about my grandmother or her illness while she was alive; instead of lending my shoulder to my mother who served my granny her days n blinkless nights; or just hold my dad’s hand and say to him that I am there to take care of him. I could not do any of it. I just had to follow the NORMs and I did but I was screaming inside. I wanted all of them to leave except for couple whose presence actually mattered and made difference. Why cry when u never cared; infact why be there at all. 

That day in that room, I was having more thoughts on the follies of the society and its customs and so called culture; than mourning over the dead. That day in that room, there were more that one corpse - that of sensibilities of society that we are, that of logic which should have long ago made us out-practice fake customs and rituals, that of courage that should have made us question the status-quo.

Inspiration Courtesy : Pointless Customs, traditions and we the folks who follow it!!

#DaduRIP #BauWeLoveYou